Thursday, September 02, 2010

7 Things NOT to Do After a Breakup

Ladies, after a breakup we can do some pretty irrational things. Of course, men aren't immune to these pitfalls, but due to our emotional nature, we can be more susceptible to the crazy. However, to avoid future humiliation, here are a few tips to help you keep your sanity.

1. Baby, I'm Begging

The whole "he broke up with me out of the blue" speech is pure BS. Whether you noticed or not, chances are your ex saw the demise of your relationship well before you did. Therefore, groveling before him won't change his mind. Despite what you think, desperation is never hot. Wipe the tears and snot off your face and walk away with some dignity!

2. LOL :)
Just because you can call, text, BBM, IM and e-mail anyone at anytime these days doesn't mean you've got the green light to do all of the above to your ex. Texting him to say "I was just thinking of you" is no longer romantic or sweet, it's annoying --and stalker-esque. Do yourself a solid and avoid using your phone or computer when thoughts of your ex start bubbling over -- sober or drunk.

3. Computer Love

I don't know how many times I've heard the following: "So I was reading his status on Facebook today and he said ____ He's so talking about me." There's a really good chance you're off the mark or simply paranoid. Reading too much into someone's status will just make you crazy, and monitoring someone's every move can not only be exhausting, but torturous. If he's having a good day, you'll feel slighted; if you feel he's referencing you, you'll gain false hope. Either way you spin it, it's not a good look.

4. Breakup Sex

We all know there's a window time after a breakup where sex with your ex is acceptable (cue Ne-yo). It's only natural for you to still want to be physical with someone you've established a bond with; however, at some point, the loving becomes a really, really bad idea. If it's six months after your breakup and you're still letting him hit that with no signs of a reunion, then you should probably cease and desist. I hate to tell to you, but your "long history" does not make you immune to jump-off status.

5. Social Stalking

"Oh my God, I didn't know you were going to be here." Girl stop! You've been with your ex for two years and can practically recite his daily routine in your sleep, but now you're surprised to find him at the bar he frequents for happy hour? Awkward encounters with your ex aren't cool, they're just plain... awkward. Plus, I highly doubt your ex will be nearly as excited to see you. To avoid looking crazy, you should refrain from showing up where you aren't wanted.

6. Friendly Fire

YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX IF YOU'RE STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM! Too many poor souls have tried to be a guy's girl friend right after being his girlfriend, but forcing yourself to see someone platonically when they still have your heart is a lost cause. You're only setting yourself up for heartache when the reality hits that he doesn't see you the same way anymore. It's best to get over the person completely before considering his friendship.

7. Ex to the Next

For the females who choose to ignore my previous rule (because I know there will be plenty) and are determined to be friends with your ex, avoid asking him about his new dating/sex life. You do not want to know how many chicks he's slept with since you two broke up last month, let alone find out if he's seeing someone new. Trust me, it won't stop at one question, and you definitely won't like the answers. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.


Can We Talk?

He hasn't answered your calls, texts or e-mails, so you have this brilliant idea to surprise him at his place to talk. What the f--k are you thinking?!?! If he doesn't want to talk to you what makes you think he wants to see you? He's avoiding you for a reason, so you should avoid making a fool of yourself. It will most likely lead to a verbal altercation and him reiterating the fact that he doesn't want to be with you. Do you really need to hear that again?
by Mara Jae

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